The New Normal

Another tremendously powerful post from Mackenzie Craven:

So here is a snapshot of my post-cancer life, my new normal. I’m back at work full time, squeezing my 40 hours in any way I can with at least 1 of the aforementioned appointments each day. I’m getting mapped for radiation today – once those daily appointments start, my calendar is going to fill up even more. My free time mainly consists of getting my stretching time in to improve the mobility in my arm, but I do try and work out when I can (now that I can). And other than that, I’m just… trying my best to remember how to enjoy life, and to remember what normal even is. It isn’t easy. Some days all I want is for people to acknowledge I’m still recovering from this whole nightmare and cut me some slack, yet other days I swear I will scream If I get another sympathetic face and a “how are you feeling?”  I don’t even want to THINK about cancer one moment… then suddenly it is the only thing on my mind. I’m laughing, I’m crying. I’m a survivor; I’m a victim. I’m fine! I’m not fine. I’m… a contradiction. Every day I put on my best normal face and fool the world around me that I’m doing as well as I’m leading on, yet every day I get frustrated that the world thinks I’m back to normal. I don’t have hair, eyelashes or full range of motion in my arms – but I also don’t have cancer. Baby steps.

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